Q, Q, Q!
by Kim Chang-Ra
Summary: After his loss to Yuya, Eita Kyuando is desperate to get back into his old form. Reiji Akaba offers to help. ... Things go downhill from there. (A three-shot inspired by the Jeopardy! IBM Challenge. Pre-Maiami Championship.)
1. I

I

Sunlight streamed in through the windows of the Cram Duel School, and what little clouds could be seen in the sky were tiny wisps of white. By all accounts, it was another beautiful morning in Maiami City.

For one person, however, the weather was the last thing on his mind.

"Eita-_kun_?"

The boy leapt up with a start, nearly dropping the sizable sheaf of papers in his hand, and whirled around from the window overlooking the street to see the Principal's secretary behind him.

"He's ready to see you now," the young woman said.

_About time_, thought Eita Kyuando as he made his way to the principal's office.

* * *

The Cram Duel School had no short supply of detractors. It was often said by other Dueling schools around the city that their students seemed to combine every known stereotypical aspect of the "nerd", not least among them being an appetite for knowledge that appeared only to feed their ego—knowledge that, in many cases, had little or nothing to relate to Dueling. But the CDS cared little for empty insults; _knowledge_ was all that concerned them. Indeed, their motto, from the school's inception, had always been "Knowledge is number one—the correct answer is _only one!_"

Eita Kyuando was here, in this office, because of the actions of _only one_ person. And out of all the brilliant minds he had to compete against at CDS, there was _only one_ brilliant mind he could trust to help him out with his problem.

The owner of that mind now sat across from him, fiddling with a tablet computer in one hand, and a stray brown hair in the other that had somehow been spared from the liberal amounts of gel that made his appearance possible.

"It's not often," said the principal of CDS, as he put aside his tablet, "that a student goes to see his principal these days—usually it seems to be the other way around, hmm?" he added slyly.

Eita did not look up. "Where does a genius go to solve a question he can't answer?" he said. When he'd first heard it a year ago, it had been the one riddle he'd failed to have a ready answer to.

The principal laughed. "Another genius, of course," he chuckled. "So, how can I help you, Eita-_kun_?"

Eita thrust the stack of papers he'd been holding onto the desk. "I wanted to talk about _this_."

It took only a few seconds for the principal to skim the first page of the sheaf. "A rough draft for your thesis on Dueling history?" he asked, frowning. "Seems like an excellent one to me."

Eita snorted. "Look at the _grade_," he said, irritated.

The principal's frown only deepened as his eyes saw the red-inked number at the top of the page. "An eighty-nine? Eita, from what your peers have told me of your history professor, a grade this high in his class is nothing if not enviable. And besides," he said with a reassuring smile, "it is only a _rough_ draft. There is _meant_ to be room for—"

Eita sprang to his feet, and slammed his small fists on the desk. "_Don't say that!_" he shouted. He did not want to hear anything about the word _improvement_. He was the Universe of Knowledge, the King of Quizzes! Why bother improving on something that was already perfect?

His face fell as a memory from less than two weeks ago, of a boy with red-and-green hair and a smile, surfaced in his mind. "I should have gotten a hundred percent on that paper," he hissed. "I would have … if not for … "

The smile died on the principal's face, with a look of understanding in its place. Evidently he seemed to realize what was going on.

"I don't know what's happening to me," Eita said, his voice shaking—though with rage or regret, he could not tell. "But ever since that Duel, my grades have never been the same. I can't concentrate; I can't Duel. I … I'd never felt more insulted than when that, that '_Fool_-ya' strutted in and … and … " He could not finish his sentence.

The principal was now fiddling with his tablet with both hands. "Well, from what these numbers are showing me here," he said as he indicated the display, "you're still on track to be one of the brightest Duelists that's ever walked through my doors—and certainly in the past five years. So you'll forgive me, Eita-_kun_, if I can't quite see why this is making you so upset."

Eita said nothing.

"It seems to me, however," continued the principal, leaning back in his chair, "that there is something bigger at issue than your grades. You're a genius on every level, Eita. But I imagine that what happened when that boy from You Show came by must have been a very humbling experience. Is that what was bothering you?"

Eita nodded slowly.

Suddenly, a smile crept over the principal's face. "Well, I might know a way to bring you out of your rut."

Eita laughed hollowly. "You weren't the one who was Dueling that know-nothing," he scowled. "Somehow I don't think another of your quizzes is going to help me out here."

The principal laughed. "Oh, no. Better than a quiz," he said. "A Quiz _Duel_. And I know just who to find for your opponent."

Eita looked up, surprised. _A Quiz Duel?_

The principal stood up. "Why don't you head back to class, Eita-kun?" he asked, shooing him out of the office. "I have a few calls to make."

* * *

_An hour later_

Elsewhere in the city, on the ground floor of the most recognizable building downtown, a phone rang.

"Welcome to the Leo Duel School," said the receptionist. "How can we help you?" She listened to the voice on the other end intently, scribbling on a notepad in the meantime. "Yes, he is in." A pause. "Please hold while I transfer your call."

* * *

Twenty floors above her, in an office more spacious than most houses in Maiami City, another phone rang.

"This is Reiji Akaba," answered its owner. "Of course. I'll see to it as soon as possible."

With one push of a button, he'd connected to another number. "Nakajima, I need you to head to Research and Development. Tell them I need to see Q. I'll be down there in twenty minutes."

* * *

_Three days later_

The notices had gone up on every wall of the Cram Duel School almost literally overnight: a special assembly was to be taking place at the end of classes today. Only two people in the whole building had any idea as to its purpose—and even then, neither one knew entirely what to expect.

Well, at any rate, Eita certainly didn't—which meant no one else did, either.

"Are you ready, Eita-_kun_?" the CDS principal asked him encouragingly. They were standing in the hallway leading out to the Dueling arena. From the sounds of things, every single student of CDS was out there.

And in truth, Eita wasn't sure just how ready he was. He'd spent all of yesterday (the principal had excused him from class to help, which annoyed Eita a little; he hated being behind the curve no matter what the situation) building his special Quiz Deck to be better and more powerful than ever before. He'd revamped it multiple times, and there were cards inside that even the tomato-head wouldn't have thought possible. And yet, Eita still wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready enough.

But he saw the bright look in his principal's eye, and it was enough to give him just a little spark in his mind—just what he needed for another Quiz Duel. Yes, that was all this was, surely.

"I think so," Eita nodded. "No," he hurriedly corrected himself, "I _know_ so!"

"That's the spirit!" smiled the principal. "Today we'll show the Leo Duel School what knowledge _really_ is!"

_Wait._

_What?_

It took a moment for Eita's brain to catch up with his ears. But when it did, a cold sweat immediately began forming around his neck.

Possibly, the principal had noticed, because he immediately looked guilty about something. "Oh … I shouldn't have said that," he said, half to himself. He muttered something Eita couldn't hear, but before he could say anything in reply, the principal had scurried away towards the arena.

_The Leo Duel School … the most prestigious school in the city …_ Eita's brain was racing now; this was not in any way what he had expected. The Duelists of LDS were widely considered to be on a whole other level from most others—even some of the pros, it was said.

_Even … him_, a small voice said in his head.

Eita paused. That was right; You Show's best wouldn't stand a chance against LDS' worst. Duelists at LDS were smarter in every way than that idiot with the funny-looking dragon and his funny-looking haircut.

Suddenly, Eita Kyuando was feeling a little better about his chances here. _ So I'm facing someone from LDS_, he thought. For some reason, the thought was much more reassuring than it had any right to be.

_At least_, he thought to himself, _I can compete with someone out there who's actually close to my level_.

He brought himself back to reality at the last possible moment. The lights had gone out in the arena; the Principal was about to make his announcement.

* * *

Spotlights flared to life overhead, revealing the CDS principal, magenta suit and all, in all his glory.

"Good afternoon, students of the Cram Duel School!" he bellowed in a stentorian voice through his microphone. "Where knowledge is … "

"NUMBER ONE!" the students shouted back at him.

"And the correct answer is … "

"ONLY ONE!" cheered the audience.

"Now!" said the principal. "Over the past several days there have been announcements of a special assembly to take place today. Now that we are all here, I can tell you why. We have three very important guests joining us here today. The first two, I believe, need no introduction—but even so, please give a warm welcome to Reiji and Himika Akaba!"

Eita was stunned. "Reiji … Akaba?!" he whispered. His eyes followed the principal's hand, indicating someone further behind him. He was right—there was no mistaking that two-toned silver hair, nor the red-framed glasses, the casual blue sweater, or the deep red scarf that billowed behind the current chief executive of the Leo Corporation.

The current CEO, Eita remembered … and world-renowned Duelist.

Suddenly that good feeling he'd had earlier was gone. _Am I really going to be Dueling _him?!

To Reiji's left, meanwhile, was a tall, stately woman, old enough to be his mother, with vivid pink hair in a heart-shaped hairstyle. She wore a dress that was, if anything, even more brightly pink than her hair—and the coldest smile Eita had ever seen. He guessed that must be Himika.

Behind these two, however, was something he couldn't immediately see, owing to the white cloth draped over it. Eita could only make out a vague feeling of a slab-shaped form roughly twice his height.

"Unfortunately," the principal was saying, "I cannot introduce our third guest as of now. Mrs. Akaba tells me I am under a nondisclosure agreement of some description."

Himika Akaba gave a polite laugh at this, and some of the CDS staff followed suit. It could not have been plainer that no one who'd laughed had found that remotely funny, especially since the smile of that woman had yet to warm a fraction of a degree.

The principal, however, was undaunted. "And so," he said, "I shall yield the floor to someone who is under no such restriction: Reiji Akaba!"

The cheer that followed was not only much louder, but much more genuine this time. If there was anything CDS had in common with any other Duel School in the city, it was a universal, unabashed admiration of the young man now walking up to take the microphone from their principal. It was hard to believe he was only sixteen.

Reiji tapped the microphone a few times before he spoke. "Good afternoon," he said. "It's my pleasure to be here at the Cram Duel School, and I must once again convene my thanks to your principal for inviting me here—the _brainchild_, so to speak, behind this entire event."

Even from where he stood, Eita could have sworn he'd seen the principal blushing at being pointed out this way.

Reiji cleared his throat. "Ever since the first cards of Duel Monsters were produced," he said, "there has always been one force behind its advancement in our society: _innovation_. Whenever an artist produces the artwork of a card, there is _innovation_. Whenever a Duelist draws that card, and plays it as part of some grand strategy, there is _innovation_. And over those years and years, we have seen Duel Monsters played on not only tabletops, but on technology. And here, again, we see _innovation_."

Many of the other students were nodding.

"Technology," Reiji repeated. "It's strange to think, isn't it? For a game so reliant on technology these days, its most important parts have always remained … _human_."

He smiled. "Until today."

There were murmurs from the audience now.

Reiji swept his hand, indicating the tall slab behind him. "Some of you may be wondering about what you're seeing behind me," he said, "the reason why you are all here. Well then, wonder no longer."

And in one swift movement, he had strode up to the slab and whipped off the cloth.

In terms of appearance, Eita was stunned by the sheer _lack_ of it. All that the cloth had been covering was a featureless rectangle, carved seemingly from black glass to the flatness of a mirror—and polished almost to the finish of a mirror as well.

Then he took a closer look, and saw that there were lights dancing under all that black glass.

And somewhere in the back of his mind, he understood. "Is that a … ?" he murmured.

"I introduce to you, and to the world," said Reiji, "a prototype for the most powerful Dueling supercomputer ever developed by the Leo Corporation. Please welcome … Q!"

The applause was pleasant, but scattered. Evidently Eita had not been the only one perplexed by this introduction.

"A Dueling … supercomputer?" he wondered out loud.

"I know what you're thinking," Reiji was saying. "Most Duel Schools, after all, have a computer of some sort that helps train their students to Duel."

Eita knew he was right. The CDS computer, in fact, had been donated from one of the most prestigious universities in the nation. Only LDS possessed a more powerful Dueling computer—although, to be fair, it was as many leaps and bounds ahead of its competition as the rest of LDS.

"However," Reiji continued, "the behavioral software incorporated into Q allows him to not only train a Duelist, but to _think_ like a Duelist. For all intents and purposes of Dueling, therefore, Q is just as human as you and me.

"And to prove it to you," he said with a flourish, "I will yield the floor to Q."

More murmurs. Suddenly, the lights inside the supercomputer began to flash more brightly. Features under the black glass could be seen more readily, even to Eita; he could see an eye-like shape with crisscrossing golden lines in the middle of the slab. On either side of this "eye" was a diamond-cut jewel, one red, the other blue.

Now this eye was beginning to glow, almost like a hologram projector—no, Eita thought, a _Solid Vision_ projector, though a very scaled-down version. Nevertheless, he had to admit this was very impressive, to have compressed this technology down to such a level. A great deal of effort had gone into building this machine—that much was clear.

Then he saw what the projector was forming—or rather, _who_.

Eita Kyuando stared, utterly agog, as Reiji Akaba handed the microphone to Reiji Akaba.

"Hello there," said the other Reiji, completely identical, both in form and voice, to the Reiji standing behind his left. "My name is Q."

The cheering was deafening.

"It sure is great to get out of that bag," said Q, to general laughter from the staff. "Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I'd like to share with you a maxim I thought of the first time I met a KaibaCorp mainframe: Never trust a computer you can't lift!"

There were more laughs from the staff, and many of the students as well. A few of them even applauded.

"Obviously, I can talk," said Q (was that a note of smugness in its synthetic voice, or was Eita hearing things?), "but right now I'd like to sit back and listen … and, perhaps, to Duel. So it is with considerable pride that I introduce a man who's been like a father to me—Reiji Akaba."

Eita dug a finger into one ear as the cheering began again. He'd never heard CDS cheer that loudly for anyone—not even him.

The image of Reiji, meanwhile, bowed to the audience, and faded into nothingness as the "eye" began to dim.

"Very well said, Q," said the real Reiji as he took back the microphone. "Principal, I believe that is your, uh … _cue_." He waited for several of the staff to laugh at the clever play on words. "We hope you enjoy our demonstration to come. Thank you."

If the audience cheered any louder, Eita thought, they were liable to bring the roof down.

The CDS principal, meanwhile, had shaken hands with Reiji as he walked off, and now took the microphone back for himself. "And thank you, Mr. Akaba … and Q … for that riveting display," he said. "Now, then, Mr. Akaba mentioned just now a demonstration. And to that end, he has arranged a Duel between Q and one of our students. Please give a round of applause for the King of Quizzes—the Universe of Knowledge—Eita Kyuando, who has graciously agreed to be Q's opponent for this momentous occasion!"

True to Eita's observations, the audience—though certainly more welcoming than they'd been against the tomato-head—weren't cheering for him quite so loudly as they had for Reiji and his digital doppelganger. But he stepped forward nonetheless, and held out his hands to receive the adulation of his fellow students.

The featureless black body of Q looked rather more daunting up close than from where Eita had been standing. But he did not let himself get fazed by this—it was one thing to face a Duelist, but quite another matter to face a computer ... an easier matter, actually. Memory banks and algorithms could only take a computer so far against the human brain.

Nevertheless, Eita felt that a test was in order. Using the best "quiz show host" voice he could muster, he quickly reeled off the first question he could think of.

"What is the triple point of water?"

Q didn't waste a fraction of a second. "Zero-point-zero-one degrees Celsius, as defined by the International Temperature Scale of 1990," he responded in Eita's own voice.

Eita grinned. _Oh yes_, he thought. _He would do nicely_. He made a mental note to thank the principal for arranging this Duel after this—a Quiz Duel, finally, in which he wouldn't have to put up with the inferior minds of inferior Duelists.

But Q had not finished talking. "It is customary," he said, Eita's replicated voice sounding strangely pointed, "for Duelists to shake hands _first_ before Dueling, is it not?"

Eita swore he could feel his follow-up question ("Why was the International Temperature Scale of 1990 established?") turn to ash on his tongue. "Um," he could only say, not at all expecting the supercomputer to take an issue with such a needless formality—especially not with such an attitude.

Reiji was right about one thing, he thought—this machine certainly _acted_ human.

Eita settled for pointing at the slab, and its noticeable lack of a hand to shake—but Q seemed to be answering his unspoken question for him. The golden eye of the Solid Vision projector was glowing again, and another, shorter human form was materializing before his eyes: slightly taller than Eita, with red wristbands and shoes, olive-colored cargo pants with extra-large pockets, a white jacket with red vest—

—and that same green-and-crimson hair.

Eita didn't even hear the scattered cheers from the audience; his knees had buckled, and he almost fell backward as the all-too-familiar image of Yuya Sakaki smiled that all-too-familiar smile at him.

"No," he said weakly. "Not him. I'd rather Duel _myself_ before seeing _him_ again!"

He hoped fervently that no one else had heard that—but again, Q seemed to be responding to him. The form of Yuya was shifting, now, the hair changing in length and color, the clothes becoming more formal: a three-piece black suit, perfectly tailored to its wearer, if perhaps more appropriate for a black-tie dance than a Duel.

And now, Eita was yet again floored, if in a slightly more pleasant way, by how Q could reflect anything—or anyone—that it saw. He'd always wondered what he would look like if he were wearing clothes that nice.

But it was not a perfect replica by any means—the nose was wrong; it was too pointed. His eyes weren't that narrow, either, and Eita was pretty sure he wasn't that tall. The signature blond 'Q' in his hair had been successfully duplicated, however, and the wide smile on the replica's face was definitely Eita's own. But the boy genius would have been kidding himself if he didn't think that the _other_ Eita Kyuando across from him looked _scary_.

The phrase 'evil twin' even came to mind.

_It's only a supercomputer_, Eita told himself. Supercomputers were only tools; they had vast intelligence—but no consciousness. Despite all the strength and power it possessed, Eita knew he was superior to this machine.

But he dared not say this out loud—somehow, Eita Kyuando had a suspicion that his big mouth had landed him in enough trouble already.

And so, with a swallow, he extended his hand, and shook the construct's own. The hard light felt surprisingly cool to the touch.

"Action Field: On!" roared the principal. "Field Spell: _Quiz Frontier!_ Activate!"

Eita's smile widened: the principal was using his favorite Action Field. These were special Field Spells that allowed each player to use Action Cards, which would shortly be distributed around the three-dimensional field. But _Quiz Frontier_ was unlike even these Fields—and it was where he truly shined as a Duelist. Here, no one could rely on their skills as a Duelist alone.

Not even, he thought, the Leo Corporation's most powerful computer.


	2. II

Deep below the floor of the Dueling arena, the Solid Vision generator—a much bigger, more potent version of the one that resided in Q's body—responded to the voice commands of the CDS principal.

"Knowledge is Light! Knowledge is Love!" he was bellowing. "Use knowledge as a weapon to clear your way to success in life!"

Beams of light, not quite solid, crisscrossed and arced high from below, and the floor erupted in a blaze of light that drowned out the glare of the spotlights completely.

"Active Solid Vision system detected," Q suddenly recited. "Active Action Field Spell detected. Compensating. System interface in five seconds."

Eita balked; it was strange to hear his own voice talking so … _unlike_ him. Again, he had to remind himself that he was facing a computer.

"Interface complete," Q said, without so much as blinking. "All systems nominal."

Eita noticed a glowing shape materializing on Q's right arm. That was interesting, he thought; apparently Q preferred to Duel left-handed. There weren't very many left-handed Duelists in this city, he knew.

What was more interesting was that the design of Q's Duel Disk looked like nothing he'd ever seen. He saw the same golden eye as the motif on its mainframe, albeit with a few more spikes around the elbow—two to hold Q's Deck, presumably, and another two glowing with the golden light of an axe-like Duel Disk blade—and exposed circuitry inside the frame. The entire apparatus looked rather like the D-Pads and Duel Gazers that had once been the talk of the Dueling world—before the advent of Solid Vision had made them essentially worthless.

At that point, the walls and ceiling of the arena disappeared, replaced by a vibrant shade of yellow that seemed to stretch to infinity. Cubes with numbers on each side, question marks of every size, and ladders and platforms of every color dotted the surreal landscape.

"The Success Frontier!" shouted the principal. "True to its name, it is the Cram Duel School's pride and joy: the Quiz Frontier!"

Q surveyed the newly created environment with hardly any expression on its digitized face. That irked Eita somewhat—he'd have thought that the Leo Corporation was well and truly capable of programming something as simple as human emotion.

"Duelists locked in battle!" bellowed the CDS principal, as he recited the traditional chant to begin this match. "Kicking against the earth, and dancing in the air alongside their monsters, they storm through this Field! Behold! This is the newest and greatest evolution of Dueling! Action … DUEL!"

A cheer arose from the stands that all of Maiami City had to have heard, as displays blipped into existence over both Eita's head and Q's: Life Point counters, set to 4000 each. At the same time, a flash of light came from the center of the Duel field, and a thousand points of light—Action Cards—were scattered to its furthest reaches for each Duelist to find.

Eita looked out towards the crowd. "A question for you all!" he shouted. "Who will be going first in this Duel?"

His own name, shouted back at him with fervor, hit him like a wall of sound.

"That's correct! _I'll_ be going first!" declared Eita, feeling his heart pumping with excitement. In one swift flash, he drew five cards from his Deck. His heart rose almost immediately—there were two _Quiz Monkeys_, among the most crucial cards of his Deck! It looked weak at first glance—but this little monster had won Eita more Quiz Duels than even he could count.

He peered at the rest of his hand, and inwardly smiled. _However!_, _Magnification Don!_, and _Start the Clock!_ were in his hand as well. Aside from that last card, this opening hand reminded him quite a bit of his duel against Yuya.

Immediately, Eita Kyuando's genius-level intellect knew what strategy to use. "I Normal Summon _Quiz Monkey_ in Attack Position!" he cried out, placing one of his mischievous monkeys on his blade of his Duel Disk. That same monkey—sunglasses, colorful clothes and all—now burst into being, replicated by the Solid Vision. A counter displaying "Level 1: ATK 0/DEF 0" briefly appeared over Quiz Monkey's head before vanishing.

"Then!" Eita cried. "I Set one card! Turn end!" A bigger version of the card he'd just now placed face-down faded in and out of sight, briefly.

"All right!" Eita laughed—he was in his element now; he was untouchable. "Show me what you've got, Q!"

Q narrowed his eyes. "I Summon _Qliphort Genome_ without Releasing a monster," he stated. His emotionless voice carried absolute surety.

Eita's eyes widened as a _huge_ mechanical shape descended from the sky of the Quiz Frontier. Gilded with silver and gold, its spiral design glinted with the light of the Action Field. The same golden eye he'd seen on Q's body—and the Duel Disk he currently wore—was positioned on its prow. His eyes only got bigger when he saw the counter above it: "Level 6: ATK 2400/DEF 1000".

At first, Eita was perplexed: a certain number of monsters had to be Released in order to Summon a Level 5 of higher monster. But some of these monsters had effects that, under certain conditions, could be Summoned with less monsters Released—or even none whatsoever.

The only question was: what was this monster's effect?

"Unless I Release Summon this monster," Q explained, "its Level will become 4, and its ATK will become 1800." True to his word, the counter above _Qliphort Genome_ now read, "Level 4: ATK 1800/DEF 1000".

Now Eita understood: Release Summoning this monster made it _stronger_. But Q was not done. "I now activate the Equip Spell: _Saqliphort_," he said, placing a second card from his hand onto the screen of his Disk. "When equipped to a _Qliphort_ monster, that monster will gain 300 ATK."

_2100_, Eita thought, seeing the counter reappearing once more to update _Genome's_ ATK. _Not bad for a first-turn play_, he admitted … but only 300 ATK, for such a specific equipping restriction? Something wasn't right here.

"Battle Phase." Q declared flatly. "I attack _Quiz Monkey_ with _Qliphort Genome_." The spiral shape of the monster suddenly began to pulse with energy, and the monkey opposite it seemed to realize all 2,100 points of that energy was being directed right at him.

But Eita had been waiting for this moment. "_Quiz Monkey_'s effect activates!" he shouted. "When this monster battles, my opponent must answer the following question: How many _Quiz_ monsters will remain on the field at the end of the Battle Phase?"

Q didn't hesitate to answer. "Zero."

A lance of light arced out from _Genome_. It had barely touched Quiz Monkey before the defenseless beast was vaporized.

Eita smiled as the dust cleared. "Well! Q has answered 'zero!' And that would be a correct answer—and so, according to my _Quiz Monkey's_ effect, you would have gained 1000 LP." His smile widened. "_However!_"

The eponymous Continuous Trap he had previously Set now activated. "I can use _this_ card to negate the destruction of one 'Quiz' monster I control, as well as any damage I take from that battle!" Eita crowed.

The _Quiz Monkey_ that had been obliterated not ten seconds ago suddenly popped out from a nearby cube, cackling with glee as it leaped to Eita's side.

"Now I believe you said your answer was zero," Eita smirked. "But, I'm so sorry … you are _incorrect!_ Now, I can activate _Quiz Monkey_'s other effect! I can destroy a monster you control—and _Quiz Monkey_ will gain its ATK and DEF!"

The X shape on top of the monster's top hat glowed with red light, and blasted a ray of light at the hulking machine opposite it. There was a burst of light and smoke, and Eita smiled again—his way was clear now; with _Genome's_ ATK added to his monkey's own—he could take out more than half of Q's life in one turn!

Then the smoke cleared—and Eita gasped when he saw that _Genome_ was still looming over him on the field. "What?!" he shrieked. "How?"

"My monsters cannot be so easily destroyed," said Q. "_Qliphort _monsters are not affected by the effects of any monster whose original Level is equal to or lower than _their_ Level. Your _Level 1_ _Quiz Monkey_ will never be able to use its effect. Therefore, since _Genome_ cannot be destroyed thus, _Quiz Monkey_ will not gain its ATK and DEF."

Eita growled—Q was right; a quick check proved that _Quiz Monkey_'s ATK and DEF were still stubbornly at 0.

Q folded his arms. "I end my turn."

Now Eita was mad. His combo had been perfect—and yet that one monster's effect had ruined it all! He hated being outsmarted this way. He drew his next card with rather more force than was necessary. "My turn! Draw!"

Then he saw the card he had drawn, and instantly he knew his fortunes were about to change for the better.

"First, I Summon a second _Quiz Monkey_ in Attack Position!" Eita declared, and three seconds later, another cartoonish monkey, dressed as equally bizarre as the first one, appeared on the Field. Both monkeys eyed one another, before trading a thumbs-up and a cackling smile.

"Then!" Eita went on, playing the card he'd drawn just now. "Since I control a 'Quiz' monster, I can Special Summon _this_ to your side of the field in Attack Position! Let's all give a round of applause for this week's _Quiz Contestant!_"

As the crowd cheered, a bemused, lost-looking man suddenly popped out of thin air next to Q's _Genome_. Apparently, he seemed to notice the display hanging above his head ("Level 4: ATK 2000/DEF 2000"), because he wasted no time in flexing what little muscles he had.

"Yes, yes, he's certainly very strong for his Level, isn't he?" said Eita to the audience. "But let's see, ladies and gentlemen—whose show are we watching right now?"

"Eita's!" screamed the crowd.

"So who, then, is the one calling the shots on this show?"

"EITA!"

"Correct!" declared Eita, sniggering to himself. He'd gotten his audience hooked; now, it was time for the second round of this Quiz Duel—and even Q would find himself hard-pressed to find a way out of this one.

Because … "If _Quiz Contestant_ is Summoned to my opponent's field with its own effect, it can't attack at all!" crowed Eita. "AND! If it's ever destroyed by battle, you'll take its total ATK in damage!"

_Quiz Contestant_, still flexing its muscles, suddenly found itself behind a podium that had appeared out of thin air, and the confident look on his face had vanished as suddenly as a spotlight shorting out.

Maybe it was a trick of the light, but Q was starting to look tense now. That was enough for Eita: he had Q now. But first, he thought, it was time he showed this supercomputer why he was called the 'Universe of Knowledge'—and maybe while he was at it, he could pad his advantage further still.

Eita's eyes scanned the field for the telltale gleam of an Action Card. Within seconds he found one—resting among some floating platforms—and launched himself toward it.

But something wasn't right. Eita stared back at Q—and was stunned to discover that his altered clone hadn't moved at all. _What was going on here?_ Was Q that confident in his Deck? But machines couldn't feel confidence—that was absurd! Eita chalked it up to performance issues; this was the first true Action Duel that the computer had participated in—so of course it wouldn't chase after an Action Card right away!

Eita smiled, in spite of himself. Something was still off about this whole thing, he thought—but for now, he'd take a free pass when he saw one.

The second his fingers closed upon the Action Card, it began to glow. A screen flashed into being in front of him, where rested a crudely animated quiz show host. "Action Trap: Activate!" he declared. "Welcome: Quiz Action!"

"That's right!" said Eita, looking right at Q. "These aren't your ordinary Action Cards—_these_ cards test more than your Dueling skill, but your knowledge as well!"

"Our genre is 500 of Science," explained the announcer on the screen. "If you get it right, you'll gain 500 LP—but if you get it wrong, you'll take 500 damage!"

"But we all know that's not going to happen, is it?" cackled Eita. The audience laughed.

The announcer cleared his throat, and began. "Question: How many moles of dihydrogen and dioxygen do you need to make two moles of water?"

_Easy as pie_, Eita thought. "Two moles of dihydrogen, and one mole of dioxygen!"

"Correct!" said the announcer. A burst of digital confetti appeared from the screen, followed swiftly by the life counter above Eita's head showing his LP increasing from 4000 to 4500.

But Eita was not satisfied. From where he was, he could see three Action Cards all in a row, and in an easily accessible spot. Surely Q would get wise to his plan now.

Yet incredibly, by the time he'd reached the first card, Q still had yet to budge.

"You know," Eita called down, "it's one thing to know everything there is to know in this world. But if you don't do anything with that knowledge, then you're just as much a fool as all the rest of them!"

Q scowled at the taunt, and watched idly with his arms crossed as Eita activated one, two, three Action Cards all in a row: _1000 of Math_, _1000 of History_, and _1000 of Riddle_.

"In calculus, what is the difference between a derivative and an integral? Please provide a geometric interpretation."

"The derivative is the slope of a curve of the mathematical function _f(x)_—and its integral is the area _under_ that curve!"

"Correct!"

"What famous bridge was used to connect a rich city with a poor city, and what were the names of these cities?"

"The Daedalus Bridge, New Domino City, and Satellite!"

"Correct!"

"Which is sunnier: the road or a sidewalk?"

"The sidewalk!"

"Correct!"

Three announcers vanished, three screens disappeared, and three blasts of confetti rained down on the Field—and when it was all over, Eita's LP were now seen to sit at 7500.

The audience was going berserk. No one at the Cram Duel School, not even the principal himself, had ever been able to claim that high an LP score—never mind one where only Action Cards had been used to make it happen.

And Eita _still_ was not done.

"Battle Phase!" he declared. "_Quiz Monkey_, attack _Quiz Contestant!_ And we all know what happens now, folks!" he added, barely repressing a snicker. "_Quiz Monkey_'s effect activates! Which means _you_," he pointed to Q, "get to try your luck again! So—how many 'Quiz' monsters will be on the field at the end of the Battle Phase?"

"Because both monsters are in Attack Position," Q responded, "and _Quiz Monkey_'s ATK is less than that of _Quiz Contestant_, _Monkey_ will be destroyed, and you will be the one taking 2000 damage. My answer, therefore, is 1."

Eita shook his head mockingly. That was the trouble with computers—they never learned from experience, only upgrades. "_However!_" he shouted, and his Continuous Trap activated again. "Thanks to the effect of _However!, Quiz Monkey_ will not be destroyed, and I will not be taking any of that damage!

"Which means, my obsolete friend, that you are once again … incorrect! Now, _Quiz Monkey_'s other effect activates—and _Quiz Contestant_ will be leaving the field with absolutely nothing to his name—not even his life!"

The ray from _Quiz Monkey_'s top hat zapped the unfortunate _Contestant_, reducing him to a charred, sizzling husk that finally exploded violently into a cloud of fine ash. Somehow, Q managed to stay on his own two digital feet, even as his LP counter showed a steady drop from 4000 to 2000, and the display above the _Quiz Monkey_—clearly giddy with glee at the _Contestant's_ demise—now showed it at 2000/2000.

That was enough for Eita—he wasn't so dumb as to try the same thing with his other _Monkey_ and that bothersome _Genome_. "One card face-down," he finished, and a card appeared and disappeared before his feet in the space of a second. "Turn end!"

Now it was Q's turn to draw. "How unfortunate," he said, studying his new card. "I appear to have neglected to mention another effect of my _Saqliphort_ Equip Spell. Any _Qliphort_ monster equipped with it can be treated as not one, but _two_ monsters to be used in a Release Summon."

Eita's mouth fell open. _He's going to Summon a Level 7-plus monster with only _one_ Released monster?!_

Q's eyes flashed. "Specify parameters for Release," he recited. "Level 4, _Qliphort Genome_; exception T-2."

The enormous machine began to glow with light, and disappeared in a blaze of lightning and wind.

"Parameters accepted," Q continued. "Initiate resident program: Release Summon. Specify."

The light disappeared—and in its place was a flat, circular machine, even larger than _Genome_, that reminded a suddenly uneasy Eita of the popular notion of a UFO. "Level 7, _Qliphort Disk_."

Another one of those _Qliphort_ monsters, Eita thought. And this time, he knew things were going to be different—especially since this one had been Release Summoned. And sure enough, the display for this new arrival read "Level 7: ATK 2800/DEF 1000".

"Now, I activate _Genome's_ effect," said Q. "If it is Released for any reason, I can destroy 1 Spell or Trap on the field."

Eita froze. There were only two such cards on the field—and one of them _was_ the field. That just left—

"I target and destroy your _However!_" declared Q—and Eita Kyuando could only watch his valuable Trap disintegrate into digital fragments.

"Next," Q went on, "I activate the final effect of my _Saqliphort_. If it is sent from the field to the Graveyard, I can search for a _Qliphort_ monster in my Deck, and add it to my hand." A single card jutted outward from his Deck, and was promptly swiped up by Q. "And then, I will activate the effect of Qliphort Disk. If it is Summoned by Releasing a _Qliphort_ monster, I can Special Summon 2 more Qliphort monsters from my Deck—"

Eita tensed. _He's swarming the field,_ he realized. Maybe Q didn't know it, but the supercomputer had inadvertently discovered the one flaw in Eita's strategy: _Quiz Monkey_'s effect only worked once per turn. If the opponent could simply get out more monsters than there were _Quiz Monkeys_ on the field, their effects would be burned out completely—leaving him totally defenseless.

Except for one thing—and Eita smiled nastily at the prospect of activating _that_ card.

"—although they will be destroyed during the End Phase of this turn."

Eita stopped. _Oh. Well then. That's some better news_.

"I Special Summon _Qliphort Archive_ and _Qliphort Shell_ from my Deck," Q continued, taking two cards from his deck and placing them on the blade of his Dueling apparatus. Two mechanical behemoths—one, a long, flat, barge-like craft; the other, a silver-green conch-like monster covered in spikes—floated down to take a place either side of _Disk_. Both had the same eye-shaped symbols on their bodies as before.

"Because they were not Release Summoned," Q said, "their Levels will become 4, and their ATK will both become 1800." No sooner had he finished speaking than two displays had appeared above the two newest monsters, showing _Archive's_ transition from "Level 6: ATK 2400/DEF 1000" to "Level 4: ATK 1800/DEF 1000", and _Shell's_ transformation from "Level 8: ATK 2800/DEF 1000" to the same.

"Battle Phase," said Q. "I send _Qliphort Disk_ to attack your 0/0 _Quiz Monkey_." Several bladelike extensions unfolded from the monster's circular body, crackling with electricity.

"Now wait just a minute!" Eita declared, revealing his Set card right as that electricity surged for his _Monkey_. "Trap Activate: _Start the Clock!_"

At the last possible second before the _Quiz Monkey_ would have been reduced to cinders and ash, a glowing circular shield—shaped like the face of a stopwatch clock—expanded around it, dissipating the electricity.

"If my opponent declares an attack with a monster whose ATK is higher than that of a monster I control, I can negate that attack, and end the Battle Phase!" Eita explained. "But wait—there's more! I can also change all of my opponent's monsters to Defense Position, and their DEF becomes 0!"

The effect of the Trap was immediate: the lights on all three _Qliphort_ monsters went dark, and the displays above each one confirmed that their DEF was nowhere to be found.

This time, Eita didn't bother holding back his sniggers. "I knew you'd attack my weakest monster with your most powerful monster first!" he smirked at Q. "You got greedy—and now you're going to pay the price! Because the best part about _Start the Clock!_ … is that if any Quiz monsters battle during my next turn, and they destroy your Defense Position monsters, they can inflict piercing damage to your Life Points!" He laughed, long and loud, as if this was the long-awaited punch line to some grand joke.

"If I were you," Eita snickered, leaning over at Q with the gleaming grin of a fox, "I'd start looking for an Action Card right about now! Otherwise, this Duel's as good as done! Your time starts … now!" He snapped his fingers, and the giant watch face began ticking backwards from sixty seconds.

Q blinked once. Then Eita blinked—and suddenly Q was _gone_, vanished as though he'd never existed.

_What?!_ The boy genius whirled around in a full circle—and suddenly he heard, "Action Trap: Activate!" from somewhere above and to his right.

How Q had made it that high up in such a short time, Eita could not fathom. But make it Q had, and what was more, the construct had an already-activated Action Card between two fingers, judging from the picture of the announcer who'd spoken just now.

"The genre is 5000 of History," explained the quiz host, and Eita felt his stomach fall to the ground with the speed of a lead weight. _5000?!_

"Question: What are the nine grounds described in _The Art of War_?"

Q only paused for exactly one second before delivering his answer. "Dispersive, facile, contentious, open, intersecting highways, serious, difficult, hemmed-in, and"—he looked directly at Eita—"desperate."

Eita knew he was correct even before the announcer confirmed it for the whole arena to hear, and he felt his heart sink along with his stomach as Q's LP counter rose from 2000 to 7000. The sick realization that all his padding had been for nothing was becoming increasingly clear.

"I Set one card," Q said, as a face-down card briefly materialized before fading away, "and end my turn. _ Archive_ and _Shell_ will be destroyed at this point in time," he added, and the two monsters in question disintegrated, leaving _Disk_ alone, and very, very defenseless.

Despite all this, Eita was furious now. The supercomputer had been toying with him—Q had known all along about the special mechanics of Action Dueling. He'd tricked Eita—duped him like the village idiot, and was now only 500 LP lower than he was! There was no way Eita could let that stand.

"_Draw!_" he screamed, and glanced at the card—and his heart rose; there it was! "All right," he addressed Q. "So you can Release monsters to Summon more powerful monsters. Well, two can play at that game!

"I Release my 0/0 Quiz Monkey to Summon my Level 6, 1000 ATK _Sphin-Quiz _in Attack Position!" he shouted, playing his ace monster onto the blade of his Disk. A huge carved replica of the legendary Sphinx—though sporting a bowtie on its neck, a pyramid on its back with a white question mark, and a microphone in its left rock-hewn paw—took its place alongside Eita.

"As long as I have another Quiz monster on my field," Eita told Q, "_Sphin-Quiz_ can't be attacked at all! And since it's a Quiz monster, I'm sure you'll just be _dying_ to hear its effect!" he cackled.

"Technically, I have never been alive," responded Q. "Therefore, I cannot die."

"_I don't care!_" screeched Eita. "Battle Phase! I attack your _Disk_ with _Sphin-Quiz!_" The edges of the pyramid lit up with lightning, which raked the metal shell of _Disk_. Explosions rocked the metal monster, and it was blown apart in a flash of flame. The fires washed over Q without any physical harm—although his LP counter had now dropped to 6000, owing to the piercing effect of _Start the Clock!_

"And I'm just getting started!" Eita went on, playing another card from his hand. "I activate the Quick-Play Spell _Magnification Don!_ If a Level 4 or higher Quiz monster inflicts damage this turn, I can double its ATK until the turn's end … and have it attack once again! And I don't see any monsters for you to fall back on this time!" he smirked. "_Sphin-Quiz! Quiz Monkey! _ _Attack him directly!_"

White lightning and crimson lasers rocked the Action Field, and when the digital dust had settled, Q was still standing as resolutely as before—but his LP were right back where they had started, at 2000.

"I end my turn," Eita declared, and laughed again. "I told you to start looking for Action Cards," he sneered at the Solid Vision construct. "But you just didn't pay attention to me, did you? Geniuses like you and me are always worth listening to. But if even a genius like you doesn't listen to a genius like me—then you've got no more of a brain than the rest of those feeble minds outside our walls!"

"That remains to be seen," Q stated as he drew his next card. "Trap Activate: _Apoqliphort._ With this card, I can return up to 3 _Qliphort_ monsters from my Extra Deck to my hand."

Eita blinked, certain he'd misheard. "I'm sorry," he said sarcastically, "but I'm pretty sure that there's no Extra Deck monsters—Fusion, Synchro, _or_ Xyz—that can be returned to the hand, never mind from the Extra Deck!"

Q's eyes suddenly sparked with such light that Eita actually took a step backward. "Where do you think all those monsters I was Summoning have been going?" he asked.

Eita was floored. _What did he just say?!_ "Y-you can't be serious!" he stammered in disbelief.

"I am very serious," said Q. "Every single _Qliphort_ monster you have seen thus far … is a special kind of monster. And when these monsters are destroyed, they do not go to my Graveyard, but instead to my Extra Deck. I will now return the _Qliphorts_ _Genome_, _Disk_, and _Shell_ from the Extra Deck to my hand."

He did so. "And with that, the assembly is complete," he said, and leveled a glare at Eita that was so cold and emotionless, even the boy genius couldn't tell whether it was more man or machine—but he hoped with all his heart that it never appeared on his face again. "I will now show you the _true_ potential of my Deck."

Eita gulped. _Assembly? The true potential?_

"Begin projection sequence," Q recited. "Energy output nominal. Specify projection parameters."

Two beams of blue light shot up from either side of Q, beams that looked vaguely familiar to Eita. Inside one, Eita recognized the monster within as _Qliphort Disk_, but the other was a completely new monster; smaller than all the others he'd yet seen, to the point where the golden eye shape was essentially its entire body. Eita noted an uncanny resemblance to Q's Dueling apparatus in its appearance.

And then he saw those twin beams of light again, and realized what he was witnessing. _Oh no_.

"Scale One, _Qliphort Disk_; Scale Nine, _Qliphort Tool_," Q continued to recite, raising his synthetic voice for the first time in this Duel. "Parameters accepted! Energy output now at seventy-five percent design limit.

"Initiate resident program: _PENDULUM SUMMON!_"


	3. III

III

Eita Kyuando felt a pang of déjà vu as he saw the two beams of light before him. It felt a little bit like week-old school lunch, he would think later on. But right now, every last neuron in his brain was sputtering in utter horror.

_No, no, no!_ he kept thinking over and over. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening! Only _he_ … that idiot boy … had ever been able to pull off this kind of Summoning before! Eita had seen the footage a hundred times over, and a hundred times again. He knew everything there was to know about Pendulum Monsters, and he knew that no one else in the city—no, the entire _world_—was capable of this!

The two monsters within the lights, Eita saw, were moving to a point directly over Q. The smaller one—_Qliphort Tool_—docked with a burst of sparks on top of the circular _Qliphort Disk_, which was now diving straight down, appearing now as a perfect circle to Eita. On either side of the combined entity, the spiky shapes of the numbers 1 and 9 flickered into being.

"With these two cards in play as they are," Q was saying, "I can now Special Summon as many monsters in my hand or Extra Deck as I wish, as long as their Levels range from 2 to 8. And those monsters will be: _Qliphort Genome_, _Qliphort Archive_, and _Qliphort Shell_!"

The amalgamation that was Disk and Tool began to glow, and the energy of a huge portal shimmered on its surface. And the pang of déjà vu only worsened for Eita as he saw the familiar, gigantic mechanical forms of the three monsters emerging from that portal, each one looking more menacing than the last as they loomed over the field.

But there was something odd about all this, and it took a second for Eita to understand. Of course, he thought—they were Special Summoned! That meant—he was safe! No matter what happened, he could think of a comeback for this. And there was his _Sphin-Quiz'_ effect as well, he thought gleefully.

He grinned—he could still beat this computer.

"That's right," Q told him—almost as if the supercomputer was reading his mind. "Their Levels will become 4, and their ATK 1800. Additionally, however, if I have _Qliphort Disk_ in my Pendulum Zone, all _Qliphort_ monsters I control will gain 300 ATK." The displays above all three monsters, true to Q's word, showed each one at 2100 ATK.

"That is only 6300 points of potential damage," said Q. "Even if your field was clear, I would not be able to end this Duel this turn. _But_ … there's one thing you're forgetting: _all_ of these monsters were Special Summoned—and I still have my one _Normal_ Summon to use this turn."

Eita gulped. _Qliphort_ monsters gained their strength through Releasing monsters to Summon them, he remembered. And Q had three monsters just ready for exactly that one thing.

"First, I will activate the Pendulum effect of my _Qliphort Tool_," declared Q. "By paying 800 of my LP, I can add one _Qliphort_ card from my Deck to my hand." The LP counter appeared over his head, showing Q's Life Points dropping from 2000 to 1200 as he retrieved his chosen card. "And now—I will Release _all three of my monsters_ to summon _this!_"

Eita was flabbergasted. _A triple-Release monster?!_ He'd never seen one of those being Summoned before with his own eyes, and with good reason—there were only a handful of those monsters in the entire _game!_

"Specify parameters for Release," recited Q yet again. "Level 4, _Qliphort Genome_; Level 4, _Qliphort Shell_; Level 4, _Qliphort Archive_; exception T-3!" His three monsters were consumed in lightning and fire.

Q looked absolutely deranged as he continued to chant. "System override alpha!" he cried. "Energy output now at maximum design limit! Parameters! _Accepted!_ Initiate resident program: _Release Summon!_"

Eita felt the ground begin to shake, and he noticed some of the cubes of the Action Field were beginning to drift higher and higher. The platforms suspended in midair were also soaring high of their own accord—almost.

Because it looked to Eita that they weren't simply flying—they were _falling_. Whatever was coming was altering the gravity of this Action Field in some way, and everything in the digital space that wasn't bolted down, save for both Duelists, was falling towards that _something_.

Suddenly, one of the cubes smashed through the ceiling of the Quiz Frontier, then one more, and three more. Cracks spread throughout the digital field where they had broken through, and it began to crumble—and the pieces, too, began to tumble upwards towards—_a clear blue sky?!_

Eita blinked. No, he hadn't been seeing things; he had indeed caught a glimpse of the sky outside. But that was impossible, he thought. They were inside an enclosed space that had no windows in its roof. He stared at Q. Was he altering the Solid Vision somehow—perhaps even _hacking_ it?

Then he saw something move beyond the disintegrating Quiz Frontier, and forgot all about Q. A vast mechanical torso, silver-gray and gold in color, and dwarfing any skyscraper within Maiami City, was descending from the sky. Four thick, spider-like legs that had to have been _miles_ in height jutted out from the behemoth.

Shouts and cries of shock could be heard from the audience as the new arrival continued to float downward to the remains of the field. Once or twice, someone screamed. But no one was more thunderstruck than Eita Kyuando: he had simply never seen a monster that _gigantic_ in his life.

"Appear now, my greatest avatar!" Q proclaimed. "Level 10, _Apoqliphort Killer!_"

Eita recovered enough from his shock to see the display above this new monster: "ATK 3000/DEF 2600." Immediately, he felt his knees weaken—he didn't have anything strong enough to deal with this monster. He could only hope that _Sphin-Quiz_ could hold him out long enough to find some form of removal.

"Battle Phase." said Q. He was no longer shouting, but the manic look in his eye had not disappeared. "_Apoqliphort Killer_, attack his last _Quiz Monkey._"

"Like I'd let that happen!" laughed Kyuando—he'd fallen right for it. "Sphin-Quiz's effect activates when a "Quiz" monster is targeted for an attack—and now _you_ must answer this question: which of the monsters on the field right now has the highest Level?" He held up a finger. "If you answer incorrectly, the Battle Phase will end, and my _Quiz Monkey_ will be safe. And if you answer correctly"—he paused here for dramatic effect—"then that monster with the highest Level will be destroyed, and its controller will take damage equal to its ATK!"

He couldn't resist any longer: Eita threw his head back and cackled like a hyena—he'd done it, he'd won! He knew that Q's programming bound him to answer any question put to him correctly. Finally, at long last, Eita Kyuando had been able to turn that knowledge against him.

"Are all of your Quiz Duels so imbalanced?" Q said dryly.

"Don't—_hee hee hee_—blame me!" Eita guffawed, wiping a tear from his eye. "I'm just in charge—_ha ha ha_—of the show, not the—ahahahaha—not the _script!_"

Q closed his eyes. "Very well. My answer is Apoqliphort Killer, with a Level of 10."

This only made Eita laugh harder. "You're _never_ going to learn, are you?" he howled with glee. "_Sphin-Quiz_, show this stubborn little fool that knowledge is Number One! Destroy his monster, and finish him off _once and for all!_"

Lightning snaked up the statue's pyramid, arcing straight for the mechanical giant—

—and bounced off.

Eita froze in mid-laugh, his mouth so wide open at the undamaged monster that it looked as though he'd just gotten lockjaw. "How?" he whispered. "_How is that possible?!_" he screeched at Q.

"'You're never going to learn, are you?'" Q demanded, echoing Eita's own words. "_Qliphort_ monsters cannot be affected by the effects of monsters whose Levels are lower than theirs, remember? And my _Apoqliphort Killer_ takes it one step further. It is immune to the effects of not only every monster with a lower level—but of _all_ Spells and Traps as well!"

Eita felt as if a heavy weight had just been swung into his face. All _Spells and Traps?_

"Do not take this too personally … Eita-_kun_," said Q with a daring smile, indicating the immense monster above him with a sweep of his hand. "You are looking at one of the most powerful cards that _Duel Monsters_ has ever seen. The Duelist has yet to be born who can beat this monster—and that Duelist will not be you!

"_Killer_—continue with your assault!" Q commanded, virtually frothing at the mouth. "_Apocalypse Cannon Blast!_"

Gun turrets—hundreds of them—appeared from hidden compartments all over the monster. Every single one of them trained their sights on _Quiz Monkey_, who howled and shrieked as he tried to get away—but to no avail. The diminutive monkey was vaporized by laser fire, and Eita felt himself propelled back by the shockwave of the shellacking. He collided painfully against the floor.

"I now activate another effect of Apoqliphort Killer," declared Q, once the display showing Eita's LP at 6500 had faded from view. "Once per turn, I can make you send 1 monster from your hand or your field to the Graveyard."

Eita's eyes bugged when he suddenly realized he had nothing in his hand—not even an expendable monster. _No!_

"Very well," he growled. "I send Sphin-Quiz to my Graveyard." And instantly, the monster was vaporized.

Q smirked. "I end my turn with that."

Eita grimaced. He might have more than five times the amount of LP as Q possessed, but the mere appearance of _Killer_ had instantly put him on the defensive. He needed a good draw _yesterday_.

He closed his eyes, breathed in, and … "Draw!"

Eita looked at the card he'd just drawn, and almost whooped in satisfaction—this could just be enough to keep him alive! "If my opponent controls a monster while I control no monsters," he explained, "I can Special Summon _Quiz Model_ from my hand in Defense Position!"

He did, and a very shapely woman wearing a slim magenta dress, a pink feather boa, and a very soppy look on her face materialized onto the field, under the display "Level 2: ATK 0/DEF 0".

"And if that's how I Special Summon this lovely lady," Eita added, blowing a kiss at the woman—which only made her smile all the more sickeningly sweet to look at—"I can Special Summon as many 'Quiz' monsters as possible from my Graveyard, in Defense Position!"

A cloud of white smoke and confetti burst out from around the _Model_ as she performed a flashy pose, and dissipated to reveal a trio of monsters; two _Quiz Monkeys_, and his _Sphin-Quiz_. All of them—even _Sphin-Quiz_, bizarrely enough—were bug-eyed and babbling at the sight of the _Quiz Model_. One of the _Quiz Monkeys_ was even drooling.

"You know what they say," Eita snickered, as he ended his turn, "_the show must go on!_ And as long as I have these monsters on my field, I can keep this show going and the questions coming until the end of time!" He cackled.

Q blinked as he drew. "I activate the last effect of _Apoqliphort Killer_," he responded. "While it remains on the field, all Special Summoned monsters have their ATK and DEF lowered by 500."

Eita snorted. That wasn't so bad; most of his monsters were already at 0 in both regards—but _Sphin-Quiz_ was not, and Eita didn't even need to look at the display to see that it was getting weaker. Indeed, it had shrunk to roughly his height, and looked about as imposing as the average housecat right now.

"Now!" Q called. "Remember how my monsters send themselves to the Extra Deck instead of the Graveyard?" He smiled. "Initiate resident program! Pendulum Summon!"

Eita tensed: it was happening again. This time, two more monsters were Summoned either side of Killer as the portal behind it expanded with energy: the long, flat _Archive_, and the thin, warped _Genome_. Both their displays read "Level 4: ATK 1600/DEF 500."

"And then," continued Q, "I Release them both for my Normal Summon."

_A double-Release Summon_ … Eita felt as though he should be looking for some Action Cards right about now. But with the extent of the damage to this field, looking for one would be next to impossible!

"Specify parameters for Release," Q chanted yet again, as the two monsters he'd Pendulum Summoned disappeared in a flash of flame. "Level 4, _Qliphort Genome_; Level 4, _Qliphort Archive_. Parameters accepted. Initiate resident program: Release Summon. Specify: Level 8, _Qliphort Shell_."

The spiky, silver-green, conch-shaped machine that Eita had seen once before descended next to _Apoqliphort Killer_, this time boasting an impressive display of "Level 8: ATK 3100/DEF 1000".

"Now," Q explained, "When _Qliphort Archive_ is Released, I can target one monster on the field, and return it to the hand—for instance, that _Sphin-Quiz_ on your field."

The orb inside the eye of _Qliphort Shell_ fired a blast of orange light at _Sphin-Quiz_, causing it to retreat back into its card form. But Eita, despite growling at the loss of his field advantage, was still not worried as he added _Sphin-Quiz_ back into his hand—he had more monsters than Q did; he could still survive.

"Battle Phase." Q declared coldly. "When _Qliphort Shell_ is Summoned by releasing a _Qliphort_ monster, and if it destroys a Defense Position monster by battle, it can inflict piercing damage—and attack _once again_."

Eita felt that cold sweat running down his neck again, as his mind processed what was about to happen. He took one look up—and _up_—at the towering monsters opposite him: a 3000 ATK monster that could shrug off everything save the most powerful of attacks and effects … and a 3100 ATK double-attacking piercer who looked dead-set on whittling his LP down to skin and bones.

And he ran.

_I need an Action Card_—now! Eita thought frantically. _And even then … I don't—!_

"_Qliphort Shell_, attack his first Quiz Monkey," commanded Q. "Lock on target."

"_Quiz Monkey_'s effect activates!" Eita countered, still running, turning over debris in the hopes of finding his last saving grace.

"It's useless!" Q called back.

"Wrong answer! _Quiz Model_'s effect activates!" Eita replied derisively—even though he knew Q had a point. "I banish _Start the Clock! _from my Graveyard to return her to my hand! _You—are—incorrect!_" he shrieked, hurling the words like knives at Q as _Quiz Model_ did a cartwheel and catapulted herself, card and all, back into Eita's hand. "_Quiz Monkey!_ Do your worst!"

Which, inevitably, was exactly what happened. The spikes on _Qliphort Shell_ crackled with lightning as _Quiz Monkey_ rushed for it. That lightning flashed, and thunder pealed with a deafening report. Very little of the monkey remained to hit the floor. But the lightning was still coming—straight for Eita.

The pain wasn't as excruciating as he thought it would be—if anything, a detached part of his mind thought as he screamed from the onslaught, it was _worse_. Eita didn't even see the display of his LP falling to 3400, his body was wracked with so much agony.

Q smiled. "_Qliphort Shell_ … lock on target."

Eita couldn't even move from the pain. "_Quiz Monkey_ … activates its effect," he managed to gasp out.

And just at the edge of his hearing, he heard Q answer back, "Zero."

Eita Kyuando sighed—it was at this moment, perhaps, that he'd realized he was finally beaten. "You're … correct," he whispered. He steeled his body for the worst, knowing his other _Quiz Monkey_ was as good as destroyed by now, and the attack would come at any time—

But when it did, his nerves were already so numb from that first attack that the second one, he thought, genuinely didn't feel so bad. The only thing Eita could feel, in fact, was his body sliding along the floor from the force of the lightning barrage as his LP diminished to a scant 300.

When it was over, he opened his eyes—and saw a gleam of light barely ten feet away from him. He gasped in pain—and disbelief—as he realized what it was.

_Could it be?_

Nothing else but the gleam of an Action Card could have given Eita the resolve to stand up. He tottered toward the card, half buried under a crumpled platform.

_Please, let it be,_ he thought over and over. _Please let it be … _He picked up the card—

And his heart sank.

The Action Trap _1000 of Science_ fluttered from his hand to the ground, and Eita Kyuando felt all his strength leave him as he sank to his knees, shaking violently.

There was nothing more he could do. It was all over.

Q, for all his behavior, ultimately remained as emotionless as any computer. "_Apoqliphort Killer_," he said, his voice flatter and softer than ever before, "lock on target."

And Eita's world exploded in light and fire.

* * *

The entire arena was silent as the Action Field was dispelled, the Duel concluded. No one dared to move or speak at what had just taken place before their eyes.

The CDS principal was agog in shock. 6500 points of damage in one turn, out of 9200 points of potential damage … he had never seen a Duel take such a brutal turn of events. His eyes flitted back and forth from Q—no longer the near double of Eita Kyuando, and now just a blank, featureless slab—to the Akabas. Himika still wore her smile, but her face was slightly paler than her makeup could conceal, and somehow the principal knew that even she had not anticipated this.

And finally, Reiji's face was utterly devoid of emotion. He stared, unblinking, unmoving, at Eita's spread-eagled form with a gaze that could have implied anything from appreciation to pity … or a total lack thereof.

The principal cleared his throat hesitantly. "Y-your winner today," he managed to say, "with 1200 remaining Life Points—and I must say, one of the most … _engaging_ Duels this School has ever hosted—is the supercomputer Q."

Silence. No one paid any attention to the pair of burly suits wheeling Q's mainframe away and out the door. The principal could tell every single student's eye was trained on Eita Kyuando, who still had yet to stand up on his feet as a pair of medics rushed to his side. Fortunately, he looked to still be breathing—the head of CDS suspected his injuries were not so serious on his body, per se.

But Eita's pride, on the other hand, had taken a terrible blow today—perhaps even worse than the one inflicted by the prodigy of You Show. He was going to need some serious counseling after this, the principal was sure—and that would be hard enough.

But suddenly, he heard a noise—like someone was … clapping?

He whirled around, trying to find where it was coming from. It wasn't hard to find; the source was none other than Reiji Akaba. His face was still as impassive as before, but his hands were politely applauding.

Soon Himika joined in, and a few members of the staff. Then all of them began to clap, and within moments the entire arena was ringing with the sounds of applause.

The principal smiled as he watched Eita weakly raise up his hands, in acknowledgement of the fanfare—muted, to be sure, but no less welcomed after everything the young boy had been through today.

As Eita was carried off by the medics, the principal turned to look back at the Akabas, thinking he ought to have a word with them about the safety protocols that—he'd been informed—were _supposedly_ integrated into Q's body.

But the thought died in his mind when he saw that they were nowhere to be seen.

* * *

_One hour later_

Eita's injuries, however, proved to be little more serious than a good few bruises and scrapes, although the trauma caused by _Qliphort Shell's_ attack had left his body severely weakened as a result. The school nurse had already prescribed fluids and bed rest until at least tomorrow morning, and it would be a matter of days, perhaps even weeks, before they said Eita would be ready to walk and Duel under his own power.

They might as well have pronounced the end of his career at CDS, Eita thought. Having to remain in hospital for this long—he'd be missing classes, schoolwork, Dueling—he banged his head against the pillow, feeling the _whoompf_ noise as his head connected with the sterile white fluff again and again.

One of the nurses came by at that moment. "Eita-kun, please don't do that," she said, her voice somewhat less gentle than it was firm. "You're not going to improve much faster that way."

Eita could only grumble at her.

"You have a visitor, by the way," she said, smiling. "I've already shown him in. I'll leave you two to talk."

Eita watched her leave from the side of his bed, not at all feeling like talking to anyone right now—but the visitor, whoever he was, had already made his way inside. Eita was prepared to squeeze his eyes shut and pretend he was asleep—and then he saw, with a jolt, the red threads of the scarf, either side of the shoes before him.

"Come to laugh at me, too?" Eita grumbled, heaving a sigh in his pillow. "It's not like I can blame you."

"Actually," the voice of Reiji Akaba said, "I wanted to congratulate you, Eita-_sama_." He held out a hand. "Walk with me."

Feeling like he had little choice, Eita obeyed, and grasped the CEO's palm. They were out of the clinic in seconds.

"I put both Q and its deck through some very rigorous stress testing," Reiji spoke up after a while, while Eita limped alongside him, "before any of this event was made possible. Q had Dueled every single man and woman on the LDS staff before today. Would you like to know the numbers?"

In truth, Eita wasn't sure if he wanted anything to do with numbers right now. But he nodded anyway.

"Ninety-one percent win rate," answered Reiji. "Zero duels, win or lose, lasting five turns or more." He looked Eita square in the eye. "And you lasted twice as long as every single one of them."

The boy genius was stunned. Did Reiji Akaba—_the_ Reiji Akaba—just tell him he had lasted longer against that brutal Deck than every single member of the LDS staff?

Regardless, however, the truth of the matter was still as clear as day. "I … I still lost," he said. "And all those questions I answered … it was all for nothing." He hardened his hand into a fist. "But Q only made two correct guesses. Why didn't he … "

Reiji stopped walking, and knelt down beside him. "Mr. Kyuando," he said, "Eita. The most valuable piece of knowledge you can ever have is knowing when to use it."

_Knowing when to use … knowledge?_

And at that moment, Eita Kyuando felt the sensation of a light bulb flicking on in his brain.

If it were not for the limitations of his body right now, he would certainly have leapt high into the air at that point. Because at that point—though even he could not quite explain why—he _knew_.

There were no more words necessary from there on out. Reiji Akaba spent just enough time to take Eita back to the clinic, shook his hand, and left without a word.

* * *

Himika Akaba was waiting for Reiji outside the school clinic. She fell in with him as soon as he'd said farewell to Eita.

"Sometimes I forget you're so young," she mused out loud. "That was very mature of you." She turned to regard her son. "Although I couldn't help but notice you left out the _real_ reason you commissioned Q's construction—_and_ that Deck."

Her eyes narrowed. "Yuya Sakaki?"

"Hmph. That can wait," Reiji said coolly. "Besides, did you see the way he was walking?"

"I tend not to notice that with people his age," answered Himika, her voice drier than her favorite martini.

Reiji sniffed. "You jest," he replied, looking back towards the hospital wing, "but I'd say he learned something today that no quiz on Earth could ever teach him."

His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. "Yes?" he asked.

Nakajima's voice came through on the other end of the line. "Akaba-_san_, your car is waiting outside," he said dutifully.

"Thank you, Nakajima," he answered his bodyguard, as they made their way towards the exit of the Cram Duel School. "We'll be there momentarily."

* * *

_One week later_

Sunlight streamed in through the windows of the Cram Duel School, and what little clouds could be seen in the sky were tiny wisps of white. By all accounts, it was another beautiful morning in Maiami City.

And for a change, there was one person here who appreciated it more than anyone else.

The head of CDS put down the book he'd been looking over, professionally hardbound, exhaustively cited—and judging by the smell, fresh off the publishing presses. "_Magnificent_ work, Eita-kun!" he said brightly. "That is not something I say to many people—least of all, to one of my students. How did you put such a remarkable collection of knowledge together—and in such a short time?"

On the other side of the desk, Eita shrugged—or at least, he tried to do so, as far as his crutches would let him. "I just … knew when to use it," he said with a smile.

It was worth those two Duels, he thought later on, to see the look of confusion on the principal's face.

* * *

**A/N: Rated Q for Qliphorts.**

**… I regret nothing.**

**Anyway, this was just a little brainwave that wouldn't go away during class time. Work's been winding down enough to where I can do some more writing. Don't worry, we'll return to our regularly scheduled Elder Scrolls programming before long. Hopefully by then, it'll be the end of the year, and I'll be twenty-five with a B.F.A. framed somewhere on my wall.**

**Q's introductory speech in the first chapter is taken almost word-for-word from Steve Jobs' introduction of the Macintosh in January 1984, probably one of the most iconic moments in technology history. (I apologize, by the way, if I have offended any KC mainframes in the audience for comparing them to IBM.)**

**Finally, writing the turn-by-turn for this Duel was probably the hardest part of putting this fic together. I'm not a referee for games of any description, least of all Yu-Gi-Oh!—so please let me know if I slipped up somewhere.**

**Thanks for reading! – K**

* * *

List of fic-exclusive cards:

**Quiz Contestant**

Level 4/EARTH/Warrior-Type/ATK 2000/DEF 2000

Cannot be Special Summoned from the Graveyard. If you control a "Quiz" monster: You can Special Summon this card to your opponent's side of the field in Attack Position. If this monster is Summoned this way: It cannot attack, also if it is destroyed (by battle or by card effect) its controller takes damage equal to its ATK.

**Quiz Model**

Level 2/LIGHT/Fairy-Type/ATK 0/DEF 0

If your opponent controls a monster while you control no monsters: You can Special Summon this card from your hand in Defense Position. When you do: Special Summon any number of "Quiz" monsters from your Graveyard in Defense Position. During either player's turn: You can banish 1 card from your Graveyard; return this card to your hand (you cannot apply this effect during the turn this monster was Summoned).

**Start the Clock!**

Normal Trap Card

Activate only if your opponent declares an attack with a monster whose ATK is higher than the ATK of a "Quiz" monster you control. Negate that attack and end the Battle Phase, also change all monsters your opponent controls to Defense Position, and if you do, their DEF becomes 0. Until your next End Phase, if a "Quiz" monster you control destroys an opponent's Defense Position monster by battle, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent.


End file.
